


Save The Date

by Subtleladybird



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-29
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-04 03:27:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15832827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Subtleladybird/pseuds/Subtleladybird
Summary: He tried to ignore the tingling of his skin, tried to ignore the new date materialising on his arm, covering another patch of pale skin with black ink. Tried was the magic word because there was no ignoring the moment, just as there was no denying the reality of it. He turned a blind eye to the Cheshire cat smile directed at him, tried to ignore the significance of his find.





	1. Prologue

Symbols painted his body, black lines marring the pale skin of his arm, intricate dates that are as ambiguous to Tsukishima Kei as they are to anyone else in his life. The symbolism behind the marks had long since lost their meaning and their importance, even when every date is etched in his memory, unforgettable.

The memory of finding his first date, his first soulmate mark is as vivid and as bright as the memory of finding his brother standing in the stands, cheering when Tsukishima expected to see him on the court. Both are memorable moments of his life, events that reconstructed his world, altered his perspective. They are two dates that the blonde was sure to have painted the skin of his soulmate's body, etched next to his birthdate, a symbol for him to recognise his other half, part of his story, a tale that perhaps only his soulmate would ever understand.

He didn't care for his soulmate to understand, didn't want to consider allowing anyone into his life, or trusting someone with his memories, with his story, with the tales behind his dates, nor did he care to learn the stories behind the numbers on his own skin.

Tsukishima Kei never wanted to find his dates on anyone's arm, never expected to. He should've known better; he should've been prepared for that moment.

As molten golden orbs followed the black lines, capturing the moment; another unforgettable memory, he realised his mistake, recognised that just as he identified his soulmate, the raven-haired captain across the net had come to the same conclusion.

He tried to ignore the tingling of his skin, tried to ignore the new date materialising on his arm, covering another patch of pale skin with black ink. Tried was the magic word because there was no ignoring the moment, just as there was no denying the reality of it. He turned a blind eye to the Cheshire cat smile directed at him, tried to ignore the significance of his find.

_Nekoma's bedhead captain couldn't be his soulmate._

Tsukishima shifted his attention back to the game, tracking the ball with uninterested eyes, ignored the new date - that day's date- as his gaze settled on Kuroo Tetsurou's arm and not for the first time, he wished that he had covered his marks.

_He never noticed the joy in his soulmate's eyes._

**♥**

Being taller than most had always been an advantage, it kept everyone away, and it meant he could see over everyone's heads without hassle, but Tsukishima was never as grateful for his height as he was at that moment. He rushed out of the gym, using the advantage of his stature to escape before Kuroo, Nekoma's captain could catch up with him, ignoring the calls that chased him.

He refused to meet his soulmate. Refused to allow that day to alter his life any further. Walking away, without giving them the chance to actually meet, to never know one another is a much easier choice than walking away after their souls connect. He didn't want to risk the chance of falling in love, of linking himself to someone because of symbols on their bodies.

Soulmates are not necessarily romantic, but Tsukishima knew that his relationship with his soulmate won't ever be platonic. He couldn't allow them to meet; he couldn't let him walk into his life. If this chance is lost, then there won't be another one, not when Karasuno in Miyagi and Nekoma is in Tokyo.

"Megane-kun, wait!" The words rang in his head, a call that he ignored just as he ignored the way the voice tugged at the strings in his chest, imploring him to give them a chance. Tsukishima's fingers pulled on the fabric of his shirt, clicking his tongue in irritation at the lump growing in his throat, but he refused to look behind, to turn around.

_Tsukishima Kei loved the normalcy of his life. He would kill any threat to his routine, even if that threat were a chance meeting with his soulmate._

_Tsukishima Kei didn't believe in fate, he didn't believe in coincidences or chance meetings, and he didn't expect to meet his soulmate ever again._

At least, he hoped never to meet again.

The chances were slim, but as long as there was a chance, Tsukishima didn't trust the world not to play a cruel joke on him.

**♥**

Nothing was supposed to change, but nothing works the way Tsukishima plans. Nothing was different, but it wasn't the same either, and he hated that as much as he hated loud and obnoxious people.

Tsukishima Kei despised changed, loathed the shift in smaller details more than anything. His fingers brushed the black ink decorating his skin, a habit he'd developed when he was a happy child with his first mark. It was a motion of comfort, a pause in activities that no longer registered in his awareness.

_Something was different._

_It was unsettling._

His world burst with emotions, feelings he never experienced before expanding in his chest, wrapping him in a blanket of joy. An involuntary gasp escaped his lips, a sound of surprise that snapped him out of his daze and he pulled his fingers away as if burned.

He was burned, exhausted in a way he never was, his thoughts racing and heart shuddering as the world fell back to harmony.

The joy was gone; instead, a hole was growing in his chest, leaving him cold and hallow. His homework was long forgotten in favour of grabbing his cell phone to search for an explanation of the peculiar event.

_Did he imagine it? He was too afraid to try and touch his dates again._

_He hoped it was nothing more than an illusion._

> 'The meeting of a soulmate will activate one's soulmate identifying mark, this will result in linking the soulmate on a telepathic level. The effect of the link defers for each pair, but most commonly it will lead to experiencing the emotions of one's soulmate that is stored in the memory linked to each date. This link is theorised to be a biological response to assist soulmates in understanding their pair upon learning of the history behind each mark. Cases, where no reaction occurs after the fateful meeting, is sporadic.'

Tsukishima's golden gaze shifted to the dates on his arm, finding the mark that he touched as a frown twitched on his face.

_How was he supposed to feel knowing that Nekoma's captain felt such immense joy upon identifying the blonde as his soulmate?_

His grip tightened around his phone, feeling the smoothness of the screen under his fingertips. He didn't want to be linked to his soulmate. Didn't want to accept the reality of their meeting, but there was no ignoring the emotions that engulfed him upon touching the marks.

There was no ignoring the spark of happiness at the realisation that his soulmate was excited to meet him. There was no denying the guilt growing inside of him, knowing that upon touching his mark his soulmate will feel nothing but regret and resent.

He couldn't overlook his emotions, but he was going to squash them, kill them and adapt to the new change in his life.

If Tsukishima was curious to experience the emotions behind the rest of his marks, then he never said it out loud, and if he ever touched the dates, then it was an accident. It was never on purpose.

_Tsukishima Kei didn't care about his soulmate, their encounter or even the link between them._

Touching his marks was never so taxing, and as exhaustion consumed him, his lids drifted shut, engulfing him in a comforting blanket of darkness. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, darling. I didn't expect to come with a new story so soon, but here I am, and I'm so excited about this one. This chapter is more of a short prologue, and future chapters are hopefully going to be longer. 
> 
> ~~I'll be doing my best to stick to weekly updates.~~
> 
> If you reached this far, thank you! I'm also immensely sorry for the terrible writing, and any grammatical as well as spelling mistakes. 
> 
> If you have any feedback, please don't hesitate, I love improving as much as I enjoy reading your reactions!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, darling! I was planning on updating every Wednesday, but Saturday seems to work better for my schedule, and this chapter was ready. I got excited about it, ~~and tired of editing it.~~ So I decided to go ahead and post. 
> 
> I tried not to recount what we already know, but these scenes felt essential to the story, so I had to write them. Going forward, I might slip away from canon. 
> 
> Thank you to all of you who read this, who left kudos and those who commented. Your support means the world to me. ~~I promise to try and reply to your comments. Please bear with me and know that I read and love every word.~~
> 
> I apologise for any grammatical and spelling mistakes you may encounter. Noticing and correcting my errors is not easy.

Volleyball was a permanent part of Tsukishima's world. He would never forget the first time Akiteru came back from school, excited and vibrating with energy as he dragged his younger brother outside to play. Kei was a child of five, curious to explore, enthusiastic to learn everything the world had to offer. He didn't care that the rules of the game were confusing, that Akiteru's eager explanation was beyond his limited vocabulary; Kei merely knew that any game that made his nii-san's eyes sparkle with so much joy had to be incredible.

He vowed to learn volleyball, to be as good as his brother was.

Akiteru was the one to introduce him to volleyball. He was the one to teach him how to cherish the sport, just as he was the one who showed him that volleyball would never love him back.

There will always be someone better to replace them as players.

It was just a game. Just a club.

It was the game that introduced him to his soulmate, and anyone else would've been ecstatic, anyone else would've cherished volleyball more.

Kei could only coexist with it. Volleyball was a part of him that he couldn't give up, even as the game grew unexciting for him.

Volleyball was a part of Tsuksihaima, one that he couldn't give up, and that was evident in the way he was at home on the court, guarding their side against spikes, sneakers squeaking on the polished floors. It showed in the way he craved the throbbing of his palm as he attempted another spike, how he didn't despise the way the light reflected against the lenses of his glasses. Tsukishima belonged in a volleyball team, in a game, he always did, and nothing would take the sport away from him.

Not his feelings.

Not his brother's betrayal and lies. Not Akiteru's pain.

Not Kuroo Tetsurou's presence on the other side of the net.

Another game against Nekoma wasn't part of his plans, another obstacle in his way, another meeting with his soulmate, but he promised not to give the captain a chance to talk to him. He didn't owe him anything, undoubtedly not because of symbols and numbers on his arm, and undoubtedly not because of a connection that was unwelcome in his world.

Tsukishima jumped again, feet leaving the air and arms over his head ready to block, but he was late, and the ball didn't even connect with his fingers before it touched the ground with a thud, announcing the end of the game.

Another defeat, another meeting of their eyes and another punishment for Karasuno that gave the blonde the chance to focus on the flying drills instead of the thoughts swarming in his mind.

All during the day, he could feel goosebumps on his skin, could feel the presence of another's gaze directed at him and Tsukishima refused to turn, refused to give in to the tingling of his skin.

Tsuksihima Kei didn't believe in fate, and if fate chose soulmates, then he refused to accept them.

It was the second day of the camp, another day of exhausting games and attempts at staying away from Nekoma and their captain. He couldn't wait for the day to be over. He was ready to put on his headphones and lose himself in his music, away from the energy and annoyance of the world.

He couldn't wait to be home and away from Tokyo.

**♥**

They were back in Tokyo again, another training camp. Tsukishima didn't feel the delight and exhilaration that Hinata was speaking of, didn't feel the rush of being in a game; he hadn't felt that rush in a long, long time.

Why was he still playing volleyball? It was just a club, a game that brought him no joy.

It was still afternoon, the day was far from over, but Tsukishima could already feel his muscles protest, could feel the ache in his knees after jumping over and over again, after losing one game after another and going through the same punishment countless times.

How could failing, motivate his team even more? Couldn't they see that they were the weaker team in this camp? There will always be someone better, someone stronger, someone who will crush you and take your place.

What was the point of training if you didn't enjoy the game? If you were set to fail?

Tsukishima jumped again, prepared to spike another ball, waiting for the heat on his palm after slamming another spike on the other side of the net, but it never happened. The ball dropped, Noya-san failed again.

The blonde could feel the frustration radiating from the smaller boy, waves of heat that warmed him up and did nothing to ease the swarm of thoughts in his head. He couldn't understand why they were trying so hard.

They were only setting themselves up for pain.

Tsukishima could feel the tingling at the tips of his fingers, the burns of his covered marks and the goosebumps that covered his skin. He turned around, ready to the gaze.

With the doubt swimming in his mind, with the thoughts that dominated his attention, the blonde forgot about the presence of his soulmate, and Kei despised that moment of carelessness as the gold of his eyes met the warm honey of Kuroo's gaze, eyes cunning sharp, catlike and saturated with specks of curiosity.

It was a beautiful gaze that pulled all of Tsuksihima's attention, demanded answers for questions unasked and shadows that swam in the pools of honey. Kuroo Tetsurou looked at the blonde as if he could read him as if he could reach into his soul.

The thought wasn't farfetched, and Tsukishima didn't doubt that the captain could understand him better than anybody else. They were soulmates, after all, two halves of the same soul, but the blonde refused to accept it.

His emotions and beliefs were his to understand and no one's else, he didn't want anyone to untangle all of his thoughts, he refused to trust anyone.

Tsuksihima wanted to scratch his dates off the bronzed skin of Nekoma's captain, wanted to wipe the emotions stored in the black ink. His memories were his own, and he hated the thought of someone seeing deep into his mind. Kuroo Tetsurou didn't have the right to experience what he felt during the most remarkable milestones of his life.

The look of understanding that burned behind the pools of molten honey burned into Tsukishima's chest, igniting a fire inside of him that bubbled under his skin, threatening to consume him with the building anger. Long, lean fingers found the fabric of his shorts, entangled with the threads of cloth as he turned away, breaking the first real contact the soulmates had.

He was angry at himself, for being careless, for not covering his marks when they first met, for meeting Kuroo's gaze this time. He was furious with Kuroo for using the connection to sense Tsuksihima's most private emotions. He was mostly outraged at the world for toying with him.

**♥**

The games were finally over, water was washing down his dry throat, and his lungs could finally settle down. Tsukishima could feel relief cascade over his shoulders, dimming some of the anger that had been burning inside of him, heating him up since meeting Kuroo's gaze.

He tried to hold back his rage as Yamaguchi asked him about extra practice, tried to swallow down the lump forming in his throat. He wanted his mind to settle just as much as he wished for his muscles to relax. Tsukishima wanted nothing more than a hot shower and his music.

He wanted to forget the world existed, to let everything and everyone fade away.

The summer breeze felt refreshing against his skin, cooling down the fire in the pit of his stomach. It felt reviving, calming without the screams and shouts of the freak duo and the loud slam of the ball against the floor.

The silence was stirring with the sound of his hushed footsteps, the faraway murmurs of conversation and the vibrant chirping of crickets. It was a harmonious symphony. It was like rain washing away the anger that consumed him for hours.

It was a moment of serenity, tranquillity and relaxation. It was a paused moment after hours of rushed movements. Tsuksihima wanted the moment to last for as long as possible, just as he wanted to stay there in the shadow of the night, under cover of the dark sky illuminated with stars. It was a moment that wasn't solely calming his rage, but also, the thoughts threatening to consume his sanity.

His moment was interrupted, the dreamlike peacefulness of it shattered into fragments that evaporated into thin air as someone called him, catching his attention, setting his nerves on edge. He was prepared to flee.

Why couldn't they leave him in peace, why couldn't they stop harassing him to block some more? What was so exhilarating about pushing your body to its limit? He tried to be polite, attempted to decline without starting a war, because as much as he didn't want to jump some blocks for Fukurodani's ace. He didn't want to be close to his soulmate.

He should've known better.

Tsukishima was proud of his wit, he was smart, and it was one of the things that were his own, that no one could take away from him, not by studying, at least and there certainly wasn't anyone in his life that could outmatch his intelligence. Unquestionably not someone in his team. At least, not yet.

He should've known better, should've been prepared for the provocation that refuelled the anger that boiled under his skin all day, and perhaps it was that anger that was his demise, after all, Kuroo's smirk and eyes spoke of his unknown intellect.

How many times would his carelessness trap him? Was the world that set on playing him?

At least, Kuroo was on the other side of the court, torturing their new middle blocker. Tsuksihima snickered at the way he was sprawled on the ground, unable to receive. The idea that someone as bad and as annoying as Hinata was in Nekoma was gratifying; he hoped his 'soulmate' would suffer as much the blonde suffers when dealing with the shrimp.

Another failed to block, another spike resounding behind him. Tsukishima lost count of how many times the ball slammed past his hands, and it was starting to feed at his frustration and anger. He wanted to shower and slip into bed, so what was he doing in another gym, on another court? Why was he jumping blocks?

He hated Kuroo more with every jump, cursed himself for falling for his trick.

He could hear the sounds of conversation around him, could recognise the words spoken between the setter and his ace, but the meaning was lost to him as he ignored them, choosing to focus on breathing, his lungs begging desperately for air.

Fukurodani's ace was a monster, he couldn't be human, not when he was still so excited about jumping more, about spiking more.

Tsukishima wanted to slip away.

The heat of another body slipped beside him, a frame as tall as him, and the blonde straightened to take a look at Kuroo as he stood there, challenging the other duo.

He couldn't help but wonder if the first year was dead where he was sprawled on the ground.

Another spike, another jump, but this time the ball didn't slam behind them and Tskishima couldn't help but stand, mesmerised at the way Kuroo blocked it. It wasn't the power behind the block that captured his fascination, but the intellect in the way it was done, the way the raven managed to read the attack as it was happening.

Was it his sense of the game, or was it an aptitude that spread beyond that? Tsukishima was curious, for the second time since touching his mark and feeling his soulmate's emotions, he was interested to know more about him.

The blonde was grateful to Fukurodani's ace for slapping him out of his spiralling thoughts, cursed himself or slipping onto that road. He refused to allow his soulmate in.

He was grateful for all of a fleeting moment until the third year's words registered to him and the bubbling anger manifested in his mind. He reached for his wit, hiding his emotions behind words and sarcasm, feeding the owl-like captain some of his own medicine. It was a well-concealed insult, and Tsukishima was proud of himself for it.

The moment was entertaining, the frustration satisfying him after countless missed blocks and he wondered if he could grow to enjoy the company, if perhaps for the slyness of Fukurodani's setter, the ace's reaction to his insults and maybe even Kuroo's provocation and sarcasm would become something to cherish.

He learned soon enough that he could never accept that provocation, not when it was directed at him, not when the raven found his biggest insecurity and used it against him. His anger diminished, dissolving like ice and in its place, Tsukishima felt defeat and hollowness.

There will always be someone better, someone, who no matter how hard you worked will replace you. Hard work meant nothing compared to talent and even more contrasted to uncapped talent.

He despised his soulmate for the words, hated him for wrenching Tsukishima's fears and revealing them to the world.

He was grateful for the arrival of Nekoma's players, using that to slip out and away. He could hear their conversations, but chose to ignore them, refused to give them any more of his attention.

He found his way back to the gym, searching for his knee pads only to discover his team going through the motions of extra practice. Why couldn't they understand that working so hard, pushing and pushing just to fall will hurt no one but them? He didn't want to end up like his brother, refused to endure the same suffering.

"This is just a club." The words were a whisper, spoken to no one, murmured to himself as he stood and watched, eyes following the different movements. He would never understand how they could put their all into a club when they were set to fail. He refused to concede with it, choosing to walk away and leave the gym behind.

He will not set himself to suffer. He will not be like his brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those who stuck with me through 'Shattered & Healed' and are here, I see you, and I love you. Your support is what helped me finish that fic and is the reason I'm posting this.
> 
> To the rest of you, thank you for reading this so far!


	3. Chapter 3

For someone who grew up playing a team sport, Tsukishima despised the company of people, enjoyed the presence of very few individuals and would always prefer to spend his day lounging in his room with a book and his music. It was because of his particular preferences that the blonde didn't foresee feeling revived sitting under the black carpet of the sky, with the moon casting silver rays of light across his pale skin and the summer breeze caressing his shower heated cheeks.

The beat of music, the rise and falls of the sonnets and the strokes of instruments were loud in his mind, clearing away his thoughts, leaving him engrossed in nothing but the song. Tsukishima was transferred into a world of his own creation, one where soulmates didn't plague him, where his fears didn't exist. It was a realm that belonged to no one but him, even if some of the musical notes were loud enough to be heard beyond the headphones covering his ears.

The minutes ticked away as Tsuksihima leaned back against the wall, letting his head rest on the cold surface of the building and immersing himself in the music, in the symphonies floating into his ear. It was a contrast to the chaos of the day, a calming development after the emotional rollercoaster he was riding throughout the day.

For once his thoughts were quiet. For once the shadows of his fears, of his convictions weren't there to haunt him. Tsukishima never expected the moment to be so serene, apparently didn't anticipate such results not when he decided to escape the turmoil of the Karasuno designated room.

He didn't regret it.

He wished for it never to end.

Tsukishima should've known better than to wish for something; the universe seemingly set on eradicating any harmony from his life, his peace and tranquillity shattered as the heat of another figure cloaked his left side, and the blonde turned his golden eyes to find his soulmate's gaze.

He was snatched from his world cruelly, the sound of music dimming in his head, the sound replaced with the thoughts that hunted him for the entirety of the day. Neither spoke, just as neither looked away, frozen at the moment.

Something in Tsukishima's head was urging him to give this a chance, to understand the man that gave life to the black ink decorating his arm. The thought frightened him just as much as their meeting did, filling the pit of his stomach with the acidity of dread.

It was a long moment, one where the blonde contemplated escaping without a word, considered leaving, but the shadow of longing in Kuroo's honeyed eyes was a magnet that suspended him to his spot. His will to escape didn't compare to the tingling of his marks, and for the first time, Tsukishima wondered if the sensation had anything to do with the raven seated beside him. Was it a feeling meant to connect him to his soulmate?

The music never stopped, playing a calming melody into his ear, easing some of the fears that spread through his blood. The notes were his armour, his lifeline, the only thing grounding him. He refused to turn it off, held on to it until Kuroo finally spoke and the words washed over him without catching them or the meaning behind them.

His fingers shook as he stirred to turn the music off, the small tremors racking through his body invisible in the darkness of the night, and as the melody stopped, the silence felt heavy in his head, the air loaded with tension.

Was it his anxiety or his soulmate's?

Tsukishima once again considered fleeing.

He held his ground, burying the impulse, and the fear under layers of determination and obstinacy. He refused to show his aversion, not to this stranger, not to someone the universe deemed fit to force into his life.

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier; I didn't mean to upset you." His tone spoke of his remorse, his eyes burned with regret, and even in the darkness of the night, Tsukishima saw the change in his demeanour. The raven was still the same confident, crafty man he was in the gym, but as he sat there, the blonde could see more to him. It frightened him.

"Oh, is this where I bow and apologise for not meeting your expectations, for responding negatively to what you imagined?" The sarcasm wasn't visible in his voice, but it radiated from the words even when his tone was cold, apathetic, monotonous.

Neither the retort nor the denial that Tsukishima expected came, the words were never uttered, shattering all of the blonde's expectation. He shifted his body, returning his attention to the figure watching him with scrutinising eyes, gaze boring into the blonde as if hunting for answers to questions never asked.

"Believe it or not, Megane-kun, but I'm skilled at reading people, it's a craft that's useful for more than just volleyball; still I'm not perfect, and sometimes I make mistakes. My words are never meant to harm, but they are meant to aggravate and stir. People reveal their true colours when angered, and they will dance to your whims if you speak the proper words."

The laughter that resounded around them was cynical, loud and filled with the bitterness that seemed to swirl through Tsukishima's veins. He hated the words, the philosophical tone of them, the way they made perfect sense, but he mostly hated the timbre of Kuroo's voice, the patient and tender way he spoke as if addressing a frightened animal prepared to flee.

"Didn't anyone teach you that's it is rude to laugh during a serious conversation, Megane-kun?

He opted not to speak, the laughter dying as instantly as it sounded. His jaws clenched, grinding teeth hidden behind pursed lips, and his eyes were gleaming with the intensity of his stare. "That's not my name, Kuroo-san."

The raven's lips curled in a broad smile, white teeth and shining in the blackness of the evening; the moon cast rays of light across his skin, creating dancing shadows across his frame; he looked like a man on a mission, a predator on a hunt. There was no stopping the shudder that travelled through the blonde's spine, no hiding the ghost of fear that flashed through the topaz gaze, nor the tense set of his shoulders.

He was the prey.

"Well, you seem to know my name, blondie, so perhaps we should remedy that. What is your name?"

The blonde's raised a thin brow, the movement covered by the carpet of the night, a light armour hiding his reactions from the gaze observing his every move.

"How very typical." There was an edge to his tone, the pitch of his voice sharpened to cut. If the night was his armour, then words were his weapon. "Just because we're soulmates, you think you have the right to know me. You didn't earn it, not my name, not anything else." Tsuksihima forced himself to his feet, standing at full height to loom over the seated Kuroo. The enmity clouded his gaze, hiding the golden orbs behind the murkiness of his malice. "Don't assume I owe you anything because of marks on our skin, Kuroo-san; you're still very much a stranger. You're no one to me, simply the captain of a rival team."

Kuroo's smile vanished, dying on his face to be replaced with the purse of his lips. Tsukishima waited, standing his ground, staring the raven down with his head raised. The silence didn't seem to linger, broken by the deep rumble of a chuckle, and the blonde watched with mild fascination as the raven's lips curled into a small smile, his eyes gleaming with warmth. "Then, don't run, give me the chance to earn your friendship, if not more."

He held back the rush of air that threatened to escape his lips, burying the shock that rocked him in his chest. There was no anger or malice in the raven's reaction, not in his eyes, nor in his words. It was the first time someone didn't react to Tsukishima's bitterness, and it startled him, astonished him as much as it thrilled him.

It threw him into unexplored territory, one that he didn't know how to navigate it. The growing panic tasted bitter in his throat, burning him from the inside. Tsukishima ached to do the opposite of what Kuroo said. He wanted to bolt.

"Do you want me to hold your hand through it?" He snarled the words without thought, the terror clustering his thoughts and leaving him breathless, unfocused. "I'll give you a hint; never tell me what to do." Tsukishima didn't waste any more seconds, turning around to abandon the raven when he paused in his strides. "A small piece of advice, don't go asking my team about me."

He didn't understand his desire to help the raven, didn't know what compelled him to consider giving the older boy a chance. All he knew was that something in their encounter eased the fear of knowing him. Nekoma's captain was an enigma that captivated Tsukishima.

"So demanding." The words chased his back, the amusement apparent in the tone of Kuroo's voice and Tsukishima was grateful for their positions that gave the raven no chance of noticing the smile that forced its way onto the blonde's face.

As he walked away, the spark of regret was dimmed by the tingling of the marks on his arm. The anxiety that had been a constant presence ever since their chance meeting was a forgotten ache.

 

**♥**

 

The smell of food that wafted into his nose was an appetising contrast to the scent of night and summer that clung to his clothes. The coolness of the airconditioned room a refreshing change after the warmth of the evening, but the noise was a loud melody grating on his senses, deafening him after the harmony of the open world outside.

"I should've had dinner after my shower." The words were a quiet whisper, swallowed by the blustering chatter that thumped through the room and reverberated around him. The cafeteria was bustling, alive with players who wrapped up their work mere moments ago, hastening to have dinner before the cafeteria closed for the night. Tsukishima couldn't help but feel that he should've expected this outcome, should've avoided the crowd by coming earlier, by having dinner before the extra practice ended.

Hinata rushed in his direction, catching Tsukishima's attention and bringing a scowl to his face as the redhead came to a halt in front of him. "Tsukishima!" His voice was unnecessarily loud, heard through the cafeteria with an echo that caught the attention of more than just the blonde. He tsked quietly, his golden eyes deepening with a glare that made the shorter boy flinch back.

"Get some food before the cafeteria closes!"

The glare shifted, his gaze finding the platter he carried and the blonde didn't attempt to hold back the snort that escaped him; the tray was covered with food, leaving no space uncovered, but it was the fact that it seemed more massive than the redhead carrying it that entertained Tsukishima. "Hinata, eating all of that food won't help you grow any taller."

The redhead seemed ready to bounce, feeding Tsukishima's entertainment when a platinum-haired figure stepped behind Hinata, smile bright and eyes sparkling with golden specks. "Hey, come on, don't start fighting or Daichi's gonna get mad. Tsuksihima go get your food before they stop serving for the night."

The shadow of frustration wrapped around Hinata, the anger burning in his eyes and Tsukishima chuckled, a menacing smile on his face as he turned around and made his way to the line, ignoring the redheads calls behind him.

It wasn't long before the blonde was holding a tray of his own, with less food compared to what Hinata was carrying and as he walked around, his golden eyes searched the Karasuno table for Yamaguchi, finding him seated next to Yachi, smile bright and lips moving enthusiastically. The chair next to the freckled boy was empty, likely reserved for him, but as Tsuksihima noticed Hinata and the king across from Yamaguchi the idea of joining their group seemed less appealing.

He shifted, looking for an empty table, seeking silence more than a conversation or the company of people and his movement seemed to catch Yamaguchi's attention. "Tsukki, join us?" His voice was calmer than usual, more relaxed and it eased some of the tension wound tight around the blonde. He shook his head, noticing an empty table in the corner of his vision. The freckled boy knew him enough to understand his need for silence and his desire for seclusion.

There was also no chance he'd sit near Hinata or the King. Not if he wanted to avoid bantering with them.

He tried not to catch anyone's attention, placing the plastic tray on the table with care, and pulling the chair carefully to avoid dragging it on the floor, but his attention seemed to be futile as another tray was set in front of his, a conceited grin on the new arrival's face.

"May I join you, Tsukki?"

There was no doubting the smugness that radiated from the raven, no hiding his pride and it was clear that he merely asked for the sake of asking, not waiting for Tsukishima's answer as he seized the seat across of him.

"No, and please don't call me that."

The smile seemed to grow, showing a set of pearly teeth and deflecting Tsukishima's answer as if he didn't ask the question in the first place. "Come on, if not blondie, Megane-kun, and not even Tsukki then what? I mean Tsukishima is such a mouthful."

"I'd rather you stick to Tsukishima with honorifics." He busied himself with the wrapper of the chopsticks, trying to ignore the provocative presence of the raven to no avail. "Please leave before more annoying people decide to join."

Kuroo opened his lips, words seeming to be on the tip of his tongue when the loud thud of a tray being laid on the table made them jump, breaking the bubble that formed around them without their notice. The rush of sounds was loud, a shock to Tsukishima's senses, but nothing was more deafening than Fukurodani's captain speaking.

The universe surely hated him if it denied him a quiet meal.

He was thankful for the silent presence of Akaashi as he took the seat beside him, grateful for the distraction of his food as he separated the linked wooden chopsticks and started eating. There was no way he could avoid Kuroo and Bokuto's argument, not when there was no other table to escape to.

Karasuno's table was still one he refused to join, not when the only empty chair was the one across from the freak duo.

As he ate, he tried to ignore the others at the table, powerless to resist dropping vexatious comments to ignite the banter between the two captains, taking a vindictive pleasure in Kuroo's distress.

As he watched the raven, Tsukishima couldn't help but wonder why the universe chose to pair him with someone as juvenile as Nekoma's captain? Their characteristics were utterly different, but as he regarded the glow of brilliance in the honey gaze, Tsukishima could not deny that as diverse as they were, they were also comparable, with the same sense of humour and perhaps, some of the same interests.

He hated that as time passed, and as their meal went on, his muscles relaxed, his anxiety eased up, and he joined in some of the conversations. He was enjoying himself, finding pleasure in more than pestering the third years, as much as he seemed to love teaming up with Akaashi against them.

As times slipped by, Tsukishima couldn't help but apprehend that there was more to Kuroo than one could find from one meeting, and it was stimulating as well as frightening. Something in him yearned to unmask the raven, to discover all of his layers and unveil his secrets. Another part of him shunned the very thought, pushed it away, rejecting it without hesitation. He refused to accept any relationship with his soulmate, refused to get to know him.

He hated soulmates, didn't believe in fate, so why was he feeling at ease in the raven's presence? Why was he growing curious about the dates on his arm, curious about the stories behind Kuroo's most important memories?

If only the tingling of his marks would stop, if only the memory of Kuroo's delight at finding him would be erased from his mind. Only then would he be able to walk away, to go back to Miyagi and never look back, never seek his soulmate again.

He needed to survive the rest of this camp. He was determined to flee, to choose his own fate, his own partner and not be bound to marks on his skin.

If only the tingling of his marks would cease.


	4. Chapter 4

The bench they were sitting wasn't comfortable, the stones cool to the touch, solid underneath him, but it was a private spot, a reasonable distance away from the cafeteria and the gyms, giving them the chance to speak without the risk of being overheard. It wasn't as if they were discussing anything grave, but the quiet and the familiar company of Yamaguchi were factors that worked in cleansing away the lingering remnants of his anxiety.

It was at moments such as this that Tsukishima would comprehend how vital Yamaguchi's presence was to his mental state; it was only at days such as the ones following meeting his soulmate that the blonde would realise how much he'd grown to value the freckled boy.

He couldn't imagine his life without his best friend.

His fingers tightened around the cardboard cup he was holding, watching the tea leaves dance across the surface of the drink, steam floating into the sky. There was something natural in the way the drink vibrated with his every move, jolting the leaves around, and he lost himself in it, engrossed in the tea and the leaves when Yamaguchi spoke, taking him by surprise. "Tsukki, are you giving Kuroo-san a chance?"

Tsukishima didn't know what to expect, couldn't guess what Yamaguchi planned to utter past some wild speculations, but the words spoken were beyond his imagination. "I don't know."

The truth of the words shocked not only Yamaguchi but Tsukishima himself, rendering both of them silent, their voices consumed by the song of the night. Neither spoke as the crickets chippered nor when a shout sounded from somewhere in the school. The sounds of cars and people seemed far away, a life beyond their reach; they were in their own bubble, shackled to that moment.

Uncertainty was a frightening force, the unknown a nightmare. Tsukishima feared the undiscovered, the unexplained, didn't believe in fate. He could only trust what he knew, what the blonde could understand and what could be explained by science, myths and fairy tales didn't exist in his world; not beyond stories, fictions he heard as a child.

Soulmates were a part of the unknown, a phenomenon that was both unexplained and concealed. The research was, of course, excessive, but the more Tsuksihima tried to read on the subject; the more he tried to understand the marks on his arm, the more answered questions he had. 

Could he accept a relationship when the force behind it was unknown, concealed and unexplored? Were his thoughts, his feelings toward Kuroo his own? Or were they dictated by the black ink decorating his skin?

His sigh was loud, a jarring sound after the calming symphony of the night and it jolted Yamaguchi out of his haze. The freckled boy straightened his back, shifted from where he was seated on the bench next to Tsukishima to face him, and the fire of determination that burned in his eyes stole the blonde's breath away. There was a masked beauty in his gaze, sparkling with an emotion that seemed at home in the hazel of Yamaguchi's gaze.

The look was burned into his memory, unforgettable, memorable.

When did Yamaguchi change so much?

"You know, Tsukii, some people believe that our soulmates aren't necessarily our perfect pairs, but the person who understands us best."

Tsukishima didn't need more words to follow the implication behind the information; a soulmate isn't the one to complete you, but the person who'll come to know all of you. The statement gave him more insight, a deeper understanding of what awaited him, eased some of the tension in his shoulders and his straight posture eased, his body unwound as some of the weight seeped away. If he was meant to understand his soulmate, then the black ink on his skin and the emotions hidden behind the cover of the marks made more sense to him.

Yet, some of his fear remained. Hidden under the surface, bubbling in his veins and burning in his chest.

Not everything was resolved, and as Tsukishima pondered over Yamaguichi's words, the traces of his anxiety seemed to grow. The thought of Kuroo seeing behind his mask, the idea of the raven understanding Tsukishima, knowing his fears and his feelings, it was terrifying. Did he want to risk letting someone see all of him?

A spark of curiosity was kindled inside of him, dim within the storm of his fears and thoughts, but it was a reminder of Kuroo himself, the way he spoke and thought, the way every action intrigued Tsukishima to know more, to see more.

He was a living contradiction.

"Did you introduce Yachi to your parents?" The change in topic was jarring, a sudden shift that felt forced even to Tsukishima himself. Yamaguchi was shocked for a moment, blinking the confusion out of his gaze before the question seemed to register in his thoughts.

Yamaguchi's smile grew flustered, the colour of his cheeks tinted with a shade of red and the signs of a blush. His gaze was sparkling with joy; the smile stretched on his face contradicting his embarrassment. "Not yet, we're having dinner soon. Both of our families will meet, and I'll introduce her then."

There were words left unspoken, words that Yamaguchi seemed hesitant to speak. They've been friends for years; both knew each other enough to know when they needed space or time. Yamaguchi wanted to sort out his thoughts, to find the words and it showed in the way his fingers wrapped in a fist or how he tugged on the fabric of his clothes. They sat in silence, neither speaking, but taking comfort in the presence of the other, just as they did many times over the years.

They were each other's pillar, and no matter what life threw at them, they would stand together, anchoring the other.

"I'm worried, Tsukki, what if her mother hates me?" There was a vulnerability in his tone, a weakness that Tsukishima hadn't witnessed in a long time. His lips pursed, his shoulders tensed and his gaze shifted from where he was watching the stars sparkle in the sky to observe Yamaguchi's stance, to note his posture and the look in his eyes.

"Do you doubt that your parents wouldn't like your soulmate?"

"Of course, not, they'll love, Yachi." Tsukishima could not detect any waver in Yamaguchi's voice, nor any hesitation. He was brimming with confidence, and it radiated from him, lighting him and changing his whole demeanour.

Why did confidence seem to suit Yamaguchi so much when he never portrayed it before?

Karasuno was perfect for Yamaguchi. They took him in as a nervous boy and raised him into someone unrecognisable, notable. Someone exceptional.

Tsukishima was happy for Yamaguchi, pleased to have watched him grow over the years into the man that he had become, but he couldn't deny the taste of envy that settled in his mouth, bitter, disgusting.

Was he so set on not changing? Why was he stuck at the same spot, never shifting, always the same bitter, dark individual he'd come to be over the years? He refused to take chances and grow, refused to accept change, so why did it feel as if the world was evolving, leaving him behind, leaving him in the past.

"Then why do you assume that her mother won't love you? You're her soulmate, doesn't that mean you were meant to fit in her life?" He felt like a hypocrite with every spoken word, a liar that uttered words he refused to accept.

"I thought you didn't believe in that, Tsukki?" There was a gentleness in Yamaguchi's voice, a tone that soothed some of the darkness simmering under Tsukishima's skin.

"Shut up, Yamaguchi." It was a mumble, barely audible, barely heard beyond them, beyond the bubble of stillness wrapped around them. "What I mean is, you need to be yourself if you don't want them to hate you. Besides, don't be so apprehensive, Yachi must be terrified; one of you will need to be calm, or it'll be a disaster." The words were spoken without thought, a cruel mixture, but Yamaguchi seemed to read the concern between the lines and his smile was radiant, brighter than the moonlight that illuminated the night.

It eased some of Tsukishima's worries, relieved some of his bitterness, calmed him. At least, Yamaguchi will be alright, all that remained for the blonde to worry about was the matter of his own soulmate.

Perhaps, it wouldn't be so farfetched for them to work. Maybe, it wouldn't be so terrible for them to try.

 

**♥**

 

Another long day, another set of waster hours, minutes ticking away and time dragging on, unmoving, a slow drag that left him breathless, exhausted. No matter how many games they played, how many punishments they ran, it was still a neverending cycle. It was a loop that left Tsukishima grasping for the end, reaching and failing to escape it.

They were losing one game after the other, and yet their team's motivation kept growing. Why was Karasuno fighting so hard? Even if they won here, they'd never be number one; it'll only hurt them at the end.

It'll hurt them, just like it hurt his brother. He knew Akiteru lied expecting his hard work to pay off, he lied and pushed himself only to be the one suffering at the end of the road, crying tears of anguish when his attempts bore no results.

Tsukishima didn't want to suffer the same fate.

So why was he standing at the bottom of the hill, feeling as if he's being left behind? Why was he still questioning his team's motive and his own decision?

It was his choice, his decision to stand still at the same point, never evolving. He refused to regret it now, not when he knew that hard work doesn't always pay off. Talent will always prevail.

He didn't want to follow in his brother's footsteps.

The practice was finally over, wrapping up with the last penalty of the day and Tsukishima didn't waste any time to pick up his towel, refusing to join any extra practice, brushing away Hinata's questions.

The night was dark, the moon buried behind curtains of clouds that left the earth without any light and it suited his mood, felt poetic as darkness wrapped around him, just as no breeze brushed his face. The same train of thoughts swarmed in his head, a storm that left him agitated, aching for the silence of his mind.

He could remember Akiteru's tears after his graduation, could never forget the look on his face as he Tsukishima spotted him across from the other side of the stands; they were memories ingrained into his very being, parts of what made him the person he was and dates etched on the tanned skin of his soulmate.

His grip tightened, fingers squeezing the fabric of the towel he was holding when a call of his name vibrated in the air around him, breaking the serenity of the night as it resounded with clarity. He turned around, searching for the familiar face just as Yamaguchi came to a halt in front of him, panting for air, short of breath and Tsukishima could only look at him with wonder.

The words that came out of Yamaguchi's lips were a slap to his face, a shock to his system, and Tsukishima could only stand there, listening with wonder, observing every expressed word. He never imagined a day would come where the freckled boy would chastise him, where he'd speak to the blonde with passion, his tone loaded with disappointment and with a gaze that told of how lame the blonde was being.

It stunned him into silence, filled him with wonder and pride. It was a new side to Yamaguchi, one that he only witnessed small bits and pieces of, but for once the blonde saw the entirety of it as the shorter boy stood there and spoke his mind, pitching the truth straight at him, Tsukishima could see that this was the essence of the boy, it shone out of him, blindingly. The tense, anxious boy who Tsukishima watched being bullied was no longer there, instead of him stood someone confident, unafraid, and it was mesmerising.

As they spoke, and their conversation went on, Tsukishima's thought came to the front, forced their way out of his lips in a fit of temper that he couldn't tame. He could prove himself and beat Hinata like Yamaguchi was asking, but then what? His voice kept growing and growing until the words came out in a shout that surprised both of them. "You'll never actually be number one! You're going to lose somewhere. You all know that, so how can you keep going?"

His wrath seemed to blind him, a blanket of rage that wrapped around him and he didn't see Yamaguchi's growing ire, didn't note his changing demeanour until he was standing mere inches away from his face, fingers coiled around the collar of his shirt, killing Tsukishima's anger and replacing it with astonishment.

"What else do we need besides pride?"

It wasn't a statement that Tsukishima could accept, not one that seemed logical to him, but it was a refreshing line, a different outtake to his own train of thought and it eased him, calmed him. Who would've expected the easily startled Yamaguchi to be the one slapping him awake?

"When did you become so cool?" The question slipped without much hesitation or regret, pride gleaming in the golden gems of his eyes, and he couldn't help but notice that the sky was clear of clouds, sparkling with the stars and the moon shining on the earth. Yamaguchi was standing, stiff with anticipation to Tsukishima's reaction and the blonde took enjoyment in the wonderment and shock that was clear on his face.

Yamaguchi has always been an essential part of his life, his closest and only friend, his anchor and at that moment, he was the one pushing him out of his comfort zone, helping him take the first step back into the evolving world.

Tsukishima didn't want to be standing still, didn't want to watch as everyone changed, as the world shifted while he remained in the same spot. He didn't want to be left behind.

But he had more questions, he couldn't accept Yamaguchi's reasoning to be the deciding factor, and as Tsukiahim turned away, he found himself standing in front of the third gym, for once seeking his soulmate instead of running away.

He had questions that he couldn't imagine anyone else answering, not his senpais, not his brother and not his teammates. For some reason, it felt crucial that he attain the answers from the intellectual Kuroo, the skilful Fukurodani's ace and the observant setter.

There was a moment where Tsukishima questioned himself, questioned his decision to seek answers from the third years who couldn't remain sober for more than a few seconds, but as the air around them settled, as their posters shifted, and the sparkle flowed out of their gazes, a sense of solemnity settled on their shoulders.

It was awakening, an explanation that pushed him down memory lane, seeking the last moment he had fun playing volleyball, and the answer was sobering, leaving him with an ache in his chest and tingling in his palm. Why was he still playing volleyball if he no longer felt the rush of joy upon blocking a spike?

The answer to that question was as simple as breathing, volleyball was a part of him, and he was chasing that rush of excitement; the exhilarating moment that he hadn't encountered for years.

Would he relive it if he got better?

Is that what his team and his brother were chasing?

He wanted to experience that moment, didn't want to live through the motions of playing volleyball anymore. Tsukishima wanted to fall in love with the sport all over again, and perhaps, it was time to give it another chance.

That didn't mean he wanted to be pulled into extra practice, at least, not at that moment, not when he needed to sort through his thoughts, but there was no avoiding the two captains as they dragged him to the court.

There was no going back, no running away, he was set on facing volleyball, just as he was prepared to learn how to fight alongside his team. Tsukishima was going to love the sport; he was going to chase that moment of excitement that hooked him to the game.

He was prepared for the heartbreak.

If Kuroo was willing to work with him on his blocks, then Tsukishima was willing to learn, he was going to observe every suggestion and every instruction.

He couldn't deny that he enjoyed learning from the older boy.

Perhaps, there was no mistake. Maybe there was a chance for a relationship between them. But was Tsukishima prepared to give their soulbond a chance?

There one thing Tsukishima was sure about, he wasn't going to accept remaining as the unhatched crow, he was ready to break the shell and face any obstacle that'll stand in his way.

If that obstacle is Hinata, then the battle of the sun versus the moon was only starting. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading this so far, your support, kudos and comments are what's fueling me to continue writing this, and I sincerely appreciate them and all of you reading this.
> 
> I apologise for all the mistakes in the chapter. If you find any, I'm more than happy to fix them, and I always welcome constructive criticism.


	5. Chapter 5

There was a majestic air to the sun, throned in the sky, gazing down at the earth, never relenting, always watching. It was one of the comforts of life, knowing that the warmth of the sun would always shine down on them, just as it would evermore rise after the night, no matter how long the darkness lasted. It was a piece of natural art, a star brightening their lives, warming up their earth; it was the source of their lives. Poets were right to wave songs about it, just as writers were fit in writing tales.

As beautiful and warm the sun was, there was still no denying its deadliness, stare too long and you'll go blind, fly too close, and you'll burn. Tsukishima didn't want to end up like Icarus, he didn't want to defy nature, didn't dare to act brave let his wings burn.

There was once a time in his life, where he believed that the sun would never do harm, where his heart was pure, and he saw the world with curious, bright eyes. There was a time when Tsukishima found beauty in every part of the world, where he expected nothing but the good, but that part had shattered, breaking away only for small fragments to remain behind. The light in his eyes had dimmed, the glow of his heart faded, and he was left tainted, blinded by lies and deception to find flows in every part of life.

His heart was in tatters, scraps of his innocence all that remains and Tsukishima could only lock himself behind walls, putting up barriers in a late attempt to shield himself.

He was burned once, and he didn't want it to happen again. Tsukishima didn't want to repeat Icarus mistake; to fly too close to the sun only to end up in the sea, wings burned and drowning, swallowed by water and waves. He wanted to survive with what's left of his faith intact.

"Tsukishima, eat this." Nishinoya's voice was loud, a shout that pierced through Tsukishima's thoughts, pulling his attention to the plate piled with grilled meat and vegetables. His lips pulled into a tight line, shifting his gaze back and forth between his almost empty plate and the one offered to him and revulsion swarmed inside of him.

"You should be the one eating, Noya-san, developing boys require nourishment, and you certainly need it." The sarcasm dripped out of his voice, a mocking mask that hid the disdain that threatened to swallow him. He understood everyone's logic; growing boys eat more and athletes eat just as much; furthermore, it was only natural for the gathered players to eat piles of food, but the thought felt sickening to him, nausea a heavyweight in his abdomen. He couldn't eat as much as the rest of his team, a reasonable portion all he could handle to consume.

It didn't matter that ordinarily athletes are starved after playing a sport for long hours; it would never be the same to him.

Tsukishima's comment didn't seem to sit well with the second year, the insult riling him up and he moved fast, handing the plate he was holding to Tanaka before jumping to pull Tsukishima into a headlock. "Why you, show some respect to your senpais!" His tone was loud, a piercing shout into the blonde's ear who could only wince and try to escape the other. With him seated and Noya standing behind him, arms locked around his neck, Tsukishima's attempts to fight were useless. "Suga-san isn't here to save you this time."

"Noya-san, I changed my mind, you don't need any more food, you're too heavy for someone so small." The Libro gave another shout, a louder sound that seemed to deafen the middle blocker before he started jumping, trying and failing to rub his knuckles on the struggling Tsukishima's head.

The commotion caught people's attention, and as the skirmish played out, a crowd was gathered around them, watching with amused and fascinated eyes. "Tsukki!" The shout pierced through the chatter of the group, surprise following after to settle on the player's shoulders and halt Nishinoya in place, giving Tsukishima the chance to break his hold with relative ease.

His gaze found the raven through the mass of people, his bedhead a sign giving away his location. The golden in Tsukishima's gaze darkened with his glare, sparks flying between them as Kuroo's grin seemed to grow, and his eyes sparkled with his mischief. "That's not my name, Kuroo-san."

Tsukishima's words were swallowed by Bokuto's shout, the sound a thunderous siren as he jumped in place. "Tsukki! That's so cute. Can I call you that as well?"

Tsukishima's frown deepened, the anger bubbling under his skin. He could feel the beginning of a headache tingling in his skull and not for the first time; he wondered if the universe made a mistake pairing him with Nekoma's captain; they were prone to murder each other. "You can't Bokuto-san, neither you nor Kuroo-san are allowed to call me that. That is not my name." He ground his teeth, allowing the words to leave his mouth with emphasis to every syllable, to every sound. The air carried his words, driving his point across with the sugarcoated harshness of his tone.

"That's not fair; freckles calls you that, so why can't I?" Tsukishima couldn't help but wonder what he did to deserve the vexatious presence of both third years, the glint of playfulness evident in Kuroo's eyes as he spoke.

"That's not fair, Akaashi, tell Tsukki to let me call him Tsukki."

"That's neither your place nor mine, Bokuto-san." Akaashi's voice was contradictory to Bokuto's in its monotonous and disinterest as opposed to the emotions radiating from the third year's tone. It would've been amusing to the blonde, if not for the situation he was trapped in.

A beat of a second was all it took for Tsukishima to discern the intensity of the gazes focused on him, the analysing eyes that followed his every move. He was in the process of excusing himself from under the scrutiny and into a more serene scene when Tanaka moved to stand in front of him, his frame blocking half of the seated blonde's view.

There was a sense of calmness that descended upon him, an invisible embrace that wrapped around him, covering him in the warmth of protection at the gesture, at the protective stance of the second year.

It was odd, unusual. It was new.

He was grateful.

"Why are you talking to our kohai with such familiarity?" Tsukishima didn't need to see Tanaka to perceive his glare; features pulled into an expression that tended to scare away other teams. His snort was delighted, amused by the look of striking fear in the golden gems of Bokuto's eyes.

Kuroo's attention shifted upon hearing the sound, their gazes meeting all of a second and Tsukishima could feel the flash of mischief that blinked between them. The Cheshire cat grin on the raven's face grew, revealing pearly teeth that shone under the gleam of the sun, and the blonde quivered with the terror that slithered across his spine.

That smirk promised catastrophe.

It gave life to Tsukishima's fear.

"I can speak to my soulmate with familiarity, can't I, Tsukki?"

Tsukishima didn't dare speak as everyone's attention settled on him once more, their gazes a weight that seemed to press him down; heavy and dreadful. He wanted to escape, to flee and hide, but there was no way to avoid the moment.

All Tsukishima could do was meet Kuroo's grin of triumph with a gaze darkened with malice and promises of agony. There was no denying the satisfaction that washed over him as Kuroo's smirk faltered.

 

**♥**

 

The tornado that followed the announcement was nothing less than a disaster. Questions were flying around Tsukishima, chatter loud in the blonde's ear and the surprise in Karasuno seemed to be fueled the longer he remained quiet.

Tsukishima could only hold to his sanity by plotting Kuroo's demise.

The sun was lower in the sky when the tumult died down, peace finally seeping back into his life The quiet of the moment was heavenly, a calming scene that allowed Tsukishima's thoughts to settle and his emotions to calm down.

"Can we talk?" Kuroo's words sounded like a screech in his ear, a jarring sound that seemed to scratch the tranquillity that settled over him.

"You seem to love making decisions for me, so I don't see why you're asking." The guilt that seemed to weight on the raven's shoulders eased some of the rage blazing through his veins.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think they didn't know. It was a misjudgement on my part."

"I have a feeling that your entire life is a misjudgment." Tsukishima could see the rejoinder on the tip of Kuroo's tongue, could see the building rage in the tension of his shoulders and the curling of his fingers. He was playing with fire, but he prepared for the burn of the wrath that he was stirring.

He was waiting for the volcano to erupt, anticipating the moment when the raven would realise that they weren't suited for each other.

Nothing came.

His expectations died with Kuroo's unspoken rebuttal, dimmed with the extinguished anger.

"It seems that you expect nothing from this, Tsukishima-kun, why is that?" There was a moment of silence, a fraction of a second where Tsukishima entertained answering the question, yet the answer never left his lips; nestled deep in his mind, buried under his fears and thoughts.

Kuroo's use of his full name didn't escape his notice.

"You decided that we're talking, after all, Kuroo-san."

"Just answer, please." There was a vulnerability in Kuroo's tone, a plea in his eyes and the emotions that served as magnetite, weaving a spell of honesty around Tsukishima, trapping him at the moment; away from his raging thoughts.

"Do you want to ignore the fact that 67.93% of soulbonds don't work?" It was a number that was etched into his memory, a grounding reminder of the reality that relationships between soulmates weren't a fairytale that always works, more than not, it doesn't.

He didn't want to end up suffering, didn't want to let Kuroo in, show him his weakness and his vulnerability only for the world to come crashing around them.

No matter how much Kuroo interested him, intrigued him, tugged at his emotions and thrilled him; Tsukishima didn't want to end up as a number.

"Do you wish to forget that you live in Tokyo while I live in Sendai; that's a two hours trip." His voice was calm, monotonous, a recital of facts that he had replayed in his mind from the moment he entertained the idea of giving the raven a chance. His tone never rose, the storm of emotions raging in his chest and twinkled in his eyes, but never showed in his voice. "Never mind the fact that you're a third year. You're graduating and going to university, and I'll be stuck in high school for two more years. How is this going to work, Kuroo-san?"

There was no verbal reply, no answer beyond an audible sigh. Kuroo shifted, moving to take a seat next to Tsukishima on the stone bench. Their shoulders brushed, their arms touched and their skin connected and he could feel the heat radiating from the raven. "You're a coward, Tsukki." The words were soft, a whisper carried by the wind. There was a ruthless honesty in the response, but there was a tenderness in the raven's tone.

It was the truth that no one dared to speak to his face. Tsukishima was someone who would calculate every step, every move, determined the best choice based on the outcomes. He avoided any route that would hurt him, he did it with volleyball, with letting people in and he was doing it with his soulmate.

He could count the conversations he had with Kuroo on his hands, but these minimal encounters were all the raven needed to understand something so fundamental about Tsukishima.

Was that what soulmates are all about?

"You're too scared of taking a step forward that you're stuck in your place. Take a chance with something in your life. You shouldn't spend your life avoiding pain, avoiding hardships; life is all about the struggle, Tsukki."

"Are you an expert in life, Kuroo-san?"

The displeasure of the raven was evident in his scowl, in the twitching at the corner of his eyes and his words as he spoke. "I'm older than you."

"By two years." The scowl deepened, eyes darkening with irritation and his shoulders tensed as if prepared for a comeback, but once again, he failed to deliver, opting to stay quiet for a long moment.

It was disturbing, irritating, yet it was reassuring. The contradictions were clashing inside of Tsuksihima's chest, the emotions fighting a battle of anger and ease. It was exhilarating, the way Kuroo never rose to the bait as if he saw it coming, yet the blonde wanted to fight, wanted to shift the conversation into something unpleasant; something that will show them both that nothing would ever come out it.

"I would understand if you didn't want a relationship," the words that broke the silence were a shock to his system, snapping Tsukishima from the storm of emotions inside of him to focus on the soothing tone of Kuroo's voice. It was oddly familiar, yet foreign. It captivated his attention, calming the rage burning in his veins, soothing the fears haunting his thoughts. The effect was powerful. "But it's not the relationship part that's the problem, is it. It probably has something to do with the fact that we're soulmates, doesn't it?"

The perception was frightening, his ability to read people was terrifying, and it froze Tsukishima in place, left him breathless, amazed and horrified. Kuroo had seen inside his soul, farther than anyone had ever reached. It was what he feared most. It was the part that he hid behind the mask, covered with sarcasm and the cruel personality.

"I don't want to be another figure, another statistic. I don't want to be defined by marks on our skin."

The cruelty of his voice didn't deter the raven, didn't frighten him even as he looked at him with golden eyes that promised murder. Instead, a small smile curled on his lips; nothing like the domineering smirk he was known for. He looked gentle. "You know, Tsukki, my parents taught me something all my life, if you want something, you work for it, you fight for it, especially when it comes to relationships. In the beginning, I wanted this because of the soul marks, but now it's because of you. Your salty personality, the calculating look in your eyes, your intelligence. The more time we spend together, the more I'm drawn to you. I want to fight for this, but the question is do you?"

The words were a mantra playing in his head, a melody on repeat; washing away his thoughts, calming him. The emotions in the voice were genuine, and Tsukishima was drowning at the moment, sinking. He couldn't help but wonder for a second if that was the marks' effect on the raven, but he couldn't deny that with every meeting his interest would grow, his resolve would diminish.

"I don't want to fight a losing battle."

"Who declared that it's a losing battle? Do you want this, Tsukishima-kun?"

Tsukishima didn't know if he wanted it, didn't know if it was worth it, but he knew that a spark was ignited inside of him. He needed to fight for this, to try, to take a chance for once in his life.

No one can deny how persuasive Kuroo Tetsruou was.

"I want to try if you can figure a way to make it work from such a distance." His voice was calm as he spoke, showing no hint of the hesitation that burned in his throat and numbed his fingers, but as the honey in Kuroo's eyes sparkled with joy, his resolve had set.

"We start by sharing phone numbers, Tsukki."

Tsukishima could only hope that he wasn't making the biggest mistake of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, darlings. Once again thank you for reading this and for your support. It means the world to me.  
> This chapter is the hardest chapter I wrote for this fic so far, and it's probably not my best, but I had enough rewriting it, so I'm sorry if it didn't measure.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, darling. I didn't expect to come with a new story so soon, but here I am, and I'm so excited about this one. This chapter is more of a short prologue, and future chapters are hopefully going to be longer. 
> 
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> ~~I'll be doing my best to stick to weekly updates.~~
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> If you reached this far, thank you! I'm also immensely sorry for the terrible writing, and any grammatical as well as spelling mistakes. 
> 
> If you have any feedback, please don't hesitate, I love improving as much as I enjoy reading your reactions!


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